Cuisine ( not your parents siblings children)


Those who know me best know that I'm not a picky eater. Basically, if it’s not an organ I'll eat it. Many also know that there are a few exceptions to that.

This is a decision I made long ago after much thought.

It's a matter of principal. I simply refuse to eat anything called "number two"

In the first place, I feel as though the use of this particular numeric designation is unnecessary. It's not as if there is a shortage of usable numbers.

I've always heard that high rise buildings often skip "floor 13" when identifying suite numbers due to the belief by some that the number "thirteen" is somehow related to misfortune. I believe this illustration further strengthens my position regarding the use of "number two" to identify an item on a menu. IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY.

The issues I have with his atrocity have nothing to do with the taste of the food or the food source. In fact, there are fast food combos that I often crave but will not eat because of the stigma placed on the entree by the use of this identifier. Before Mickey D's changed their menu to its present order, I ate my fair share of Quarter Pound Combos. (go LARGE of course!).

While I am a man of principal, I am also a man of compromise.

Today I decided to try a M*c Rib combo. I don't know why. Perhaps I let my guard down and fell prey to the clever marketing campaign with all the "ooos and ahhhs" and finger licking.

I did not enjoy this meal.

I'm not positive what I ate was meat at all but I know for sure that it wasn't hog. For me, this immediately disqualified this sandwich from having anything to do with a “rib”. The Listerine based sauce the sandwich was drenched with was the deal breaker. A few desperate minutes ago I rinsed out my coffee cup and poured myself a shot of Tidy Bowl Cleanser (Now With Scrubbing Bubbles!) and I STILL taste that sandwich…………..

I’m kinda mad about it.

I’ll eventually get over that and find forgiveness and…

AS I said.....I am willing to compromise but…

There are a few things that must happen.

I intend to call Ronald M*c Donald personally and demand that:

1. The Quarter Pounder Combo be released from the unfounded and unfair distinction of being labeled "number two".

2. The M*c Rib Combo be immediately moved into the "number two" slot on the menu to help the consumer more accurately identify what they will actually be receiving.

I ask you to join me in this call to action.

Thank you for your support

 

Good Ideas Gone Bad.

When I got home from Emory Hospital tonight where I was visiting my baby (who will be home soon), I sat in the bathroom floor and scrubbed the tile grout with a tooth brush. It worked pretty good but it sure does taste funny now.

One Of The Best Purchases I ever Made

I did it....I bought a mop.

You may wonder, "what's the big deal? It's a mop".

This isnt just any mop and it isn't a sissy mop like you buy at the dollar store or kroger. This is a Whoopi Goldberg mop. This is a mop that would make a church custodian jealous. In fact, it's more mop than most men can even handle. But in the hands of a skilled professional, this mop is...devestating. Dirt trembles at the sight of this mop.

I'm so excited! While it's true that I just can't afford one of those cool mop buckets with the handle thingie yet, I can lay it in the bath tub and take my shoes off and wring it out quite well with my feet. I admit that after a few wrings my feet were getting sore. Tomorrow i might try wetting my mop and then laying it on the drive way and backing the truck over it back and forth until I get the excess water out of it.

I absolutlely love this mop.

 

Essential To The Cause

Okay, after some hesitation I finally decided to join the masses and create an Internet presence. Most everybody I know has joined the "social networking scene". Not me... I just don't get it. That's probably because I'm just not all that social when it comes down to it. So I decided to create a blog instead. I have no idea of what a blog actually is but I'm tired of being humiliated every time someone ask me if I'm on Facebook., They look at me like my zipper is down. Now I can at least say "no, but I have a blog!". I have zero expectations of the blogging experience but I run little risk of anyone actually reading it, and I don't think anyone can "defriend" me from my own blog so I'm pretty comfortable with giving this a try for a while.


I am a part time staff member of a struggling church. We are presently without a pastor. We are experiencing a sharp decline in attendance and membership. In recent days there have been few baptisms and people coming for church membership. Visitors come and go. We have a shortage of people willing to teach or work in our nursery. We cannot deny the absence of growth nor can we deny that we have some serious financial and leadership issues. We currently do little as a church to impact our community or the rest of the world.


Does any of this really matter?


 Since I'm the one who asked the question and so far I am the only subscriber to my blog it's only fair that I chime in and attempt to answer the question.


Yes it matters because the success of the local church is essential to the cause of Christ.


Bear with me while I make a case for this.


If Jesus has saved you then you and I share some things in common. For one, we know that we share the same Father. We know that our Father created the world and we know that our Father created us. We also know that our Father is the only one who can offer redemption from sin and eternal life through the blood sacrifice of His own son, Jesus Christ. Therefore we can conclude that our Father loves us very much. Because our Father demonstrated his love for us in this way, you and I also share the hope that is found through Jesus Christ.


Life is hard and it’s even harder when you have no hope.


Life is hard for Christians too. We still lose things and people we love. Some of us will be betrayed, some of us will fail in relationships and jobs. We will face disappointments. We will make mistakes and there will be consequences for our actions. Our hearts are going to be broken. Some times we even do this to each other.


The first time I ever experienced a broken heart it was delivered through a girl in my church youth group. Her name was ******. She invited me to a Church youth group social and shortly after that I became her “pookie man”. ****** had long dirty blond hair and a snout on her like an ant eater. When ****** spoke her nostrils flared out like she was running the Kentucky Derby but to me she was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes own. Our relationship lasted two weeks before she suddenly broke up with me. I literally thought I was going to die. I've always been known for the analytical way in which I approach problems. First, I give my self time to calm down. Then I collect all available data before I begin to analyze the problem. In this situation I waited a few days and then I scheduled what I will call an exit interview with ******. In this exit interview I learned that the mistake I made was my failure to kiss her during those 2 weeks. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to kiss her. I just couldn’t quite figure out how to maneuver around that snout. I learned what I needed to learn from this romance, moved on, and you can bet I never made that mistake again. In fact, we had a fairly large youth group and there were 15 or 16 other girls just like her and in the months to follow I reckon I kissed every single one of them. To this day, I kiss first and ask questions later.


When bad things happen to the Christian the hope that you and I have through Jesus Christ comforts us and guides and heals our wounds no matter how bad it hurts. He puts people in our path to love and care for us until we are strong again. We don’t have to rely on our own strength because God is our strength. If it ours to struggle every day of our life on earth we still have the assurance that when we draw our last breath that the party is just getting started!


The lost have no hope. For the lost, things end badly and then they get worse.


In John 14:6 Jesus says that he is the truth that leads to the father. Truth is a step beyond belief. Belief alone does not connect one directly to the truth. We don’t just believe in Jesus. We know the truth because Jesus is the truth and we have seen Jesus.


The lost are blind to the truth. Many lost people believe that there is something greater than themselves. In fact, millions of lost people believe in our God but they don’t know the truth. They don’t know the truth because they have not seen Jesus.


Jesus is in heaven at the moment so for now the only way the lost can see the truth is when Jesus becomes visible to them through you and me. As Christians, our time has come. It's a time for us to let Jesus walk and talk and live His life through us. It's time for us, through the Holy Spirit, to do the works that Jesus did so that the world can see Jesus through us. This is our lap of the relay race.


We don’t look much like Jesus when we are first saved so we must receive a spiritual makeover to make us look more like Jesus.


This is a key purpose of a church. We learn to look like Jesus by practicing on each other. Our church is our boot camp where God uses each one of us in the spiritual makeover of the other members, just as he uses the other members in our own spiritual makeover. During our makeover we begin to display joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. It is when we bear these and other spiritual fruits that we begin to look like Jesus. It is when the lost look at us and see Jesus through us that they encounter truth for the very first time.


Sometimes when we go out for the cause of Christ we come back all dinged up and discouraged. The church is the garage where we take ourselves for repairs and a tune up. Other members assist in our maintenance and restoration, providing wisdom and encouragement and a Christ like concern and love for us. We are strengthened and our spiritual appearance is touched up so that when we go back into the world we are bearing more of the fruits that make us look like Jesus. And the blind see the truth.


The local church is our opportunity to serve one another. Our service to one another is another important part of our makeover.


Let me try to say this in a different way. Let’s suppose you are the person who taught me to read. Because you taught me to read I can read my bible and grow in knowledge. Later on you lose your sight and can no longer read your bible. Further suppose that while I’m reading the word of God the Holy Spirit leads me to read the bible to you now that you can no longer read it for yourself.


I have the ability to serve you in this manner because you served me.


The life and actions of Jesus set the example for us. When we follow His example we become an example of Jesus.


When I am taught by example I learn to teach by example.
When I am served by others I learn how to serve others.
When I am loved by others I learn how to love others.


This makeover I’ve been talking about is also called discipleship.


A church whose members are discipling others while becoming disciples themselves is essential to the cause of Christ.

True Honor

Over the 20 years that I worked for a well known manufacturer I attended quite a few retirement gatherings.

Some of my coworkers retired with the love and respect of all and the admiration of management. When it came down to the party we sent them off with speeches, stories, handshakes, and sincere appreciation, along with a nice check and a gold watch.

Then…. Grumpy Dwarf retires. You know the kind. He’s got the personality and people skills of a sock. Ole Grumpy did nothing more than the absolute minimum in 40 years of service. Over time he got pretty heavy as the rest of us carried his load.

You ‘d think he’d know that he probably wasn’t doing that great of a job when on the day you announce your retirement, company stock closes with a record gain.

Despite all this, we had a retirement party for grumpy too. Secretly relieved, we sent grumpy off with the traditional speeches, stories, handshakes, along with a nice check and a gold watch.

The difference is that we did this out of a percieved duty rather than a desire to honor him. It was really just an obligation.

In Matthew 15 Jesus was in a confrontation with the Pharisee and teachers of religious law when he quoted Isaiah and said:

Isaiah 29:13 (New Living Translation)

13 And so the Lord says,
“These people say they are mine.
They honor me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me.
And their worship of me
is nothing but man-made rules learned by rote.

I don’t really use the word “rote” so I looked it up in the Webster’s Dictionary.

rote  pronounced [roht]
1. routine; a fixed, habitual, or mechanical course of procedure: the rote of daily living.
    the rote of daily living
2. by rote, from memory, without thought of the meaning; in a mechanical way:
    to learn a language by rote.

Throughout the Bible, Worship always involved action. The main word for worship in Hebrew means “to bow down.” Worship was performed in bowing, lifting the hands, kneeling, singing, praying, reciting Scripture, etc. All this can be called worship. But all this can also be done when the heart is far from God.

My prayer is that as we worship together as a church this Sunday we can lay aside all the things in life that distract us and that our hearts will truly be on Jesus. Let us give genuine honor to the one who saved us from ourselves.

Insanity

I never entered the recent healthcare debate. I don’t really understand all of the viewpoints on either side of the Barack “Oblameitall” Health Care plan. I do however understand that there is something very wrong with the system. I was reminded of that today.

I have severe sleep apnea. It’s severe enough to be life threatening. Fortunately for me I adapted very well to the treatment prescribed for my condition. I sleep at night with the aid of a CPAP machine. The CPAP experience can be compared to sticking the end of a hair dryer in your mouth, using a bungee cord to hold it in place, and turning the hair dryer on “HIGH”. Having said that, the benefits of my treatment far out weigh the quality of life I had previous to seeking treatment.

My employer struggles to provide benefits for their employees. It’s not uncommon to change from one insurance company to another each year in an effort to keep cost down.

I’ve recently gone through my 3^rd insurance provider change at my most recent employer.

Last year when my insurance provider changed the company that sold me my CPAP machine was not on the list of “affiliated service providers”. I needed a new mask and some filters for my machine so I called my insurance provider to ask where I might get my parts and maintenance for my machine. I was told that I would have to get a prescription for a new machine and place an order with their “affiliated service provider”.

Please understand that all I needed was a new mask and that it is doctor recommended that I replace it at least 3 times a year. I had been using my mask for over a year.

I went with the program and made an appointment with my doctor. I went to the appointment and waited for three hours before finally seeing the doctor. Five minutes later he scribbled down a prescription and handed it to me and I left.

I went to the affiliated service provider who was 45 minutes from my home (the former service provider was 2 blocks from my employer). They told me to come back in one week. In the mean while I used a coat hanger to try and keep my mask on my head for the next week.

I went back to the “affiliated service provider” the next week and was presented with a bill for $1500 because I had not met my deductible. The bill was $299 for a mask and $1200 for the machine. I was desperate for therapy and felt forced to comply.

Six months later I needed a replacement mask. I entered the model number into google search and found the exact replacement mask for $99. I purchased the mask myself rather than going through the insurance hassle.

This year my employer switched back to  the ORIGINAL  insurance company for healthcare benefits.

Once again I need a replacement mask. The original “affiliated service provider” is where I was directed for the services I need. They will not service the newest CPAP machine I own, not because they can’t, rather because they didn’t sell it to me. They will however, order me a replacement mask for my older machine. Keep in mind that the mask I use is the same model that came with both machines. They also told me that I would have to have a prescription from my doctor and that it would cost $349 because I have not met my deductible.

This afternoon I, once again, ordered the exact same mask online for $99 including shipping.

This is insane....

The Happy Meal

A week or so ago I went up to the attic to fetch an IDE cable for a computer upgrade I was working on and I happened to spot my high school diploma lying in the top of a box of other important treasure.

My high school diploma was issued to me in 1977 and certified that I successfully met the minimum requirements set by the State of Georgia for high school graduation. A diploma represents that a graduate is ready for college or trade school. It tells potential employers that the graduate can read, write, and perform basic math skills. A high school diploma is often the minimum educational level requirement for employment. My diploma was issued by an accredited school and serves as proof that I am a high school graduate. It never expires and I will never be less than a high school graduate.

My diploma doesn’t mention any of the specific requirements that I had to meet in order to graduate. You can’t tell if I barely passed High School or if I excelled. There is also no measure of my attitude or the effort I put into my studies.

To answer this for you I’ll briefly describe my approach to a High School Literature class. A book titled “Moby Dick” was one of the selections on the required reading list for this class.

To this day I have never read Moby Dick.

I was a very busy man in high school. I had a job. I had friends that needed to hang out with me. I had already met my future bride and those of you who know her also know how demanding she is. She couldn’t survive more than a few hours at a time without at least talking to me on the phone. (Keep in mind that at that time a phone had a wire and required that you be in a certain location in order to successfully make a telephone call, thus also requiring a commitment of time). On top of all of that, it takes daily discipline if one is to become a rock star. With the level of stress and pressure associated with those kinds of obligations I was forced to prioritize my time.

Unfortunately, reading Moby Dick was at the bottom of my priority list. In fairness to myself, I actually did read the first and last chapter and watched a cartoon based upon the story. Through these actions I was able to surmise that the book, Moby Dick, is about a big fish.

In spite of not reading the book, my knowledge of Moby Dick continued to increase. On one occasion I was hanging out with some guys in my think tank and the conversation turned to the physical features of a particular young lady. One of my fellow intellectuals painted a mental picture of the young lady for us by using a reference to Moby Dick.

As the rest of the group were busy laughing at the joke, I found myself in the middle of an educational breakthrough. I realized that I had incorrectly identified the species of Moby Dick as a “big fish”. Moby Dick is actually a whale. Those of you who are as smart as me know that a whale is actually a mammal. This event helped to further advance my theory that it’s not so important to read a book yourself as long as you understand the general plot and surround yourself with people who know more than you do. Eventually I would know a lot about Moby Dick and all I had to do was just hang out and listen.

Some how I passed the unit test on Moby Dick.


In hindsight I know that I missed the real benefits of reading Moby Dick even though I’m still not sure what the benefits actually are. And as I’ve grown older and wiser I have concluded that it’s unwise to speak about Moby Dick unless I just can’t avoid it. I run the risk of being exposed. Once exposed, I could also lose my credibility for things I actually do know a lot about.

Now don’t get me wrong. I am capable of becoming a Moby Dick expert. But for the time being I think I’ll hold off on running for president or accepting any teaching positions.

I told you this story because I think it often relates to our Christianity.

The Bible says that if we learn our ABC’s we can live forever. If we simply Admit that we are sinners, Believe that Jesus is God’s son, and Confess him as our Savior and Lord, we have met the minimum requirements for eternal life. In other words, you might say that we receive our diploma.

I publicly accepted Jesus when I was 15 years old. From that point forward I have never doubted my salvation.

I’ve always known that Genesis is the first book in the Bible and it says “God created us”. I know that Revelation is the last book and it says “We Won”.

It’s some of the parts in between that I’m not so sure about.

But I’m absolutely sure that if you make it to heaven, sooner or later, I’ll see you there.

And it’s the same as it was with Moby Dick; over time I’ve learned a little more about God by hanging out with other Christians and listening to those who seem to be knowledgeable.

It’s only when I actually started reading the Bible myself did I discover how much more there is to gain from reading the word of God. It’s a place where I’m finding answers to questions. It’s a place where I can make sense of the things that otherwise don’t make much sense. It makes me realize that I am only beginning to understand the TRUE nature of God and why I NEED MORE of Him. It makes me WANT MORE of Him. It GIVES ME more of Him.

He wrote His word down because he wanted me know more about him.

We can sit at a table with friends and order an appetizer, skip the entree and move on to dessert, while we have some good conversation and then pay our check and leave. But if we skip the meat and potatoes it’s only a few hours before we begin to feel hungry again. During the night we can get up and get a snack to get us by but by the time we wake up we’re starving again.

I have Type II diabetes. I saw a dietitian recently. As a diabetic I’m taught that I’ll be the most healthy when my diet consist of regular meals of the right foods. The dietitian said I should buy a cup and measure the foods I eat. I agreed to this and promised him that I would stop by Quick Trip on the way home and get myself a cup. He said he meant a glass measuring cup. That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. A glass measuring cup won’t even hold the food I eat.

I can buy the right foods and cook them, but it’s only when I eat them that I receive the benefit. You can own a bible and never read it and you’ll never see the benefit.

If the Christian is only stopping by the Church on Sunday for a quick snack, we can expect to experience hunger. If our spiritual diet is irregular we can expect spiritual health issues.

The secret to our fulfillment, what some call “being fed” is not what we do on Sunday. It’s our daily diet that sustains us.

McDonald's is known for a product they call the Happy Meal. For the Christian the Bible is the Happy Meal… it’s always full of good food and every time you open it there’s something very cool inside. It is designed to supply our daily needs.

If you feel like you aren’t being fed give this diet plan a try!