Cuisine ( not your parents siblings children)


Those who know me best know that I'm not a picky eater. Basically, if it’s not an organ I'll eat it. Many also know that there are a few exceptions to that.

This is a decision I made long ago after much thought.

It's a matter of principal. I simply refuse to eat anything called "number two"

In the first place, I feel as though the use of this particular numeric designation is unnecessary. It's not as if there is a shortage of usable numbers.

I've always heard that high rise buildings often skip "floor 13" when identifying suite numbers due to the belief by some that the number "thirteen" is somehow related to misfortune. I believe this illustration further strengthens my position regarding the use of "number two" to identify an item on a menu. IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY.

The issues I have with his atrocity have nothing to do with the taste of the food or the food source. In fact, there are fast food combos that I often crave but will not eat because of the stigma placed on the entree by the use of this identifier. Before Mickey D's changed their menu to its present order, I ate my fair share of Quarter Pound Combos. (go LARGE of course!).

While I am a man of principal, I am also a man of compromise.

Today I decided to try a M*c Rib combo. I don't know why. Perhaps I let my guard down and fell prey to the clever marketing campaign with all the "ooos and ahhhs" and finger licking.

I did not enjoy this meal.

I'm not positive what I ate was meat at all but I know for sure that it wasn't hog. For me, this immediately disqualified this sandwich from having anything to do with a “rib”. The Listerine based sauce the sandwich was drenched with was the deal breaker. A few desperate minutes ago I rinsed out my coffee cup and poured myself a shot of Tidy Bowl Cleanser (Now With Scrubbing Bubbles!) and I STILL taste that sandwich…………..

I’m kinda mad about it.

I’ll eventually get over that and find forgiveness and…

AS I said.....I am willing to compromise but…

There are a few things that must happen.

I intend to call Ronald M*c Donald personally and demand that:

1. The Quarter Pounder Combo be released from the unfounded and unfair distinction of being labeled "number two".

2. The M*c Rib Combo be immediately moved into the "number two" slot on the menu to help the consumer more accurately identify what they will actually be receiving.

I ask you to join me in this call to action.

Thank you for your support